........ spotted on Facebook this lovely gem
Dear Mrs Jones,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store.
Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Jones, are listed below and are "documented by our video surveillance cameras":
1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Homewares to go off at 5- minute intervals.
3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's toilets.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Homewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted in management getting involved causing management to lose time and costing the company money.
5. August 4: Went to the Customer Service Desk and tried to reserve a bag of crisps.
6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers they could come in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department - to which twenty children obliged.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' Emergency Medics were called.
9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the toy department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the Whole Store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In the autoparts department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed the fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!
15. October 23: Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where the fitting room was. And last, but not least:
16. October 24: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the Staff passed out
Having fun in Asda
Re: Having fun in Asda
What a stupid thing to post on the internet.
Now I have more stupid ideas in my head I like it. :silly:
Now I have more stupid ideas in my head I like it. :silly:
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Re: Having fun in Asda
I'm just not understanding why that car is parked in the Motorcycle bay??Elle wrote:
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Are we there yet?
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Re: Having fun in Asda
Made me chuckle especially the one about Code 3 in Homewares
ABR Welsh Rally Brecon Beacons 2012
HUBB Donington Park 2013
ABR Exmoor Rally 2013
Member of the Kawasaki Riders Club
My bikes: 1995 Kawasaki KLX 250 E3
1989 Kawasaki Tengai KL650 B1
Previous bikes: 2009 Yamaha YZF R125 Fiat Team / Rossi Replica
HUBB Donington Park 2013
ABR Exmoor Rally 2013
Member of the Kawasaki Riders Club
My bikes: 1995 Kawasaki KLX 250 E3
1989 Kawasaki Tengai KL650 B1
Previous bikes: 2009 Yamaha YZF R125 Fiat Team / Rossi Replica
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- Posts: 74
- Joined: Tue Jan 24, 2012 3:25 am
Re: Having fun in Asda
Love it, had tears running down my face...someone daft as me when I go shopping with the grandkids...wife says she doesn't know who is worse me or them...thanks for posting
Re: Having fun in Asda
Brilliant, made me proper laugh, 'pick me' :laugh:
"The distant echo of faraway voices boarding far away trains,
To take them home to the ones that they love and who love them forever......."
To take them home to the ones that they love and who love them forever......."