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Re: Groan
Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2020 8:33 pm
by bill_qaz
Local cabinet maker died by drinking french polish
His family were devastated
But he had a lovely finish
Re: Groan
Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2020 8:38 pm
by bill_qaz
Where would you find a dog with no legs?
Wherever you left it
Doctor I keep having dreams about finding dead people and trying to find out why they died.
Doctor says you have coroner virus
Re: Groan
Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2020 8:57 pm
by MotoCP
A bloke walked into a doctors office with a frog growing on his neck.
The doctor took a closer look and said;
“I’ve never seen anything like that before.
Can you tell me how it started?”
The frog said “As a boil on my arse”
Re: Groan
Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2020 9:49 pm
by soho
Two monkey's having a bath, first one gets in and says .... Ooh,Ooh,Ooh !
The other one says....well put some fu*king cold in then !
I hate those Russian dolls.......So full of themselves.
Do Elephants drink to forget ?
Re: Groan
Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2020 6:40 am
by qcnr
What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk...
Re: Groan
Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2020 8:24 am
by dave h
(in light of the new government guidelines)
A man doesn't walk into a bar......
Re: Groan
Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2020 12:19 pm
by daveuprite
I've bought a new vacuum cleaner.
The old one's just been gathering dust...
Re: Groan
Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2020 3:31 pm
by daveuprite
Sharon was feeling horny and looked forward to seeing her new chef boyfriend again.
She liked his beef in horseradish, but much preferred his pork in cider...
Re: Groan
Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2020 4:28 pm
by gbags
I’m unusually hard, for a middle class man.
Al dente, you might say.
Re: Groan
Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2020 4:29 pm
by gbags
What do you call a man wearing brown, paper trousers?
Russell.