Groan

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daveuprite
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Re: Groan

Post by daveuprite »

daveuprite wrote: Sat Apr 24, 2021 8:00 am Apparently Ginsters are researching the idea of home deliveries using drones....... personally I think it’s pie in the sky.
In other home delivery news, apparently the Post Office have a time limited offer for people to make sperm donations by post
- so I came in a jiffy...
Billy Bananahead
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Re: Groan

Post by Billy Bananahead »

daveuprite wrote: Sat Apr 24, 2021 11:18 am
In other home delivery news, apparently the Post Office have a time limited offer for people to make sperm donations by post
- so I came in a jiffy...
Not going to make a joke but sure someone will, when i was a courier we had a contract with a company called Man Not Included which basically provided semen to unfortunate women who were desperate to get pregnant. We would turn up at the supplier, commonly called a wanker, and either take the flask containing the semen or wait until the job done. :lol:
Apparently Man Not Included were quite controversial regarding how much money they charged these desperate women, anything up to £1000 i believe. Us couriers just got paid by the mile plus any waiting time, how much the wanker got could be anyone's guess. :roll:
There must be a joke in there somewhere. ;)
daveuprite
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Re: Groan

Post by daveuprite »

Billy Bananahead wrote: Sat Apr 24, 2021 11:44 am
daveuprite wrote: Sat Apr 24, 2021 11:18 am
In other home delivery news, apparently the Post Office have a time limited offer for people to make sperm donations by post
- so I came in a jiffy...
Not going to make a joke but sure someone will, when i was a courier we had a contract with a company called Man Not Included which basically provided semen to unfortunate women who were desperate to get pregnant. We would turn up at the supplier, commonly called a wanker, and either take the flask containing the semen or wait until the job done. :lol:
Apparently Man Not Included were quite controversial regarding how much money they charged these desperate women, anything up to £1000 i believe. Us couriers just got paid by the mile plus any waiting time, how much the wanker got could be anyone's guess. :roll:
There must be a joke in there somewhere. ;)
Think it's the hanging around 'waiting until the job's done' bit that got me there, Banana... :lol: That's hilarious.
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Elmer J Fudd
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Re: Groan

Post by Elmer J Fudd »

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phil_h
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Re: Groan

Post by phil_h »

Warning for all Bikers!!
The Police have found a large number of dead crows on the A380 just outside Newton Abbot early this morning.
A Pathologist has examined the remains of the crows.
The cause of death appeared to be from vehicular impacts. However, during analysis it was noted that varying colours of paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws.
By analysing these paint residues it was found that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with motorbikes, while only 2% were killed by cars.
The investigators then hired an Ornithological Behaviourist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of motorbike kills versus car kills.
The Ornithological Behaviourist quickly concluded that when crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow to warn of danger.
They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "Cah", not a single one could shout "bike" 😂
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daveuprite
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Re: Groan

Post by daveuprite »

phil_h wrote: Mon May 03, 2021 9:03 pm Warning for all Bikers!!
The Police have found a large number of dead crows on the A380 just outside Newton Abbot early this morning.
A Pathologist has examined the remains of the crows.
The cause of death appeared to be from vehicular impacts. However, during analysis it was noted that varying colours of paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws.
By analysing these paint residues it was found that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with motorbikes, while only 2% were killed by cars.
The investigators then hired an Ornithological Behaviourist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of motorbike kills versus car kills.
The Ornithological Behaviourist quickly concluded that when crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow to warn of danger.
They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "Cah", not a single one could shout "bike" 😂
Yep, you certainly posted that in the right thread....

Can I have that 60 seconds back again at the end? :P
bill_qaz
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Re: Groan

Post by bill_qaz »

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daveuprite
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Re: Groan

Post by daveuprite »

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Elmer J Fudd
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Re: Groan

Post by Elmer J Fudd »

daveuprite wrote: Sat May 08, 2021 7:19 pm Image
Spooky, that 'toon popped up on my Facebook newsfeed today.

I can turn pretty much anything made of wood into pet bedding, its a skill acquired over many years.
Chunkychops
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Re: Groan

Post by Chunkychops »

I ordered 12 bees the other day but they sent 13.
I think I got a freebee!
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