Covid 19 Coronavirus

[garyboy]

wot I really think ..



this covid virus came from outta space ..
it waz wrapped in a single use waste plastic bottle, petrified for all time within a small meteor,
a remnant of an extinct civilisation
that did not take its snivelling population seriously
they had not invented bars of soap
even though they were technologically more advanced than us
they relied completely on sonic baths
developed from motorbike carburettors
but were ineffectual, as we know,

the Russians found the meteor and sold it to the mafia
after walking across Siberia with it in a camelback.
Chinese takeway food shops cloned the contents
and sold it in large tins of triffid soup containing salt water.
this is when it mutated into the deadly sniffly virus
that has killed several old and infirm individuals
with already serious underlying health problems
on several continents.

the Jet Lee stream then carried it throughout the world
and soon everyone was infected.
No Fate ,, but what we make.
Soon we all become raving zombies
and start using Twitter to spread the virus
and children get overheated in the playground.
but glad to miss their sats.

yes
this is the deadly sats virus

coming to a shool near you
very very soon
be very very afraid

brought to you today by the letter V


have a nice day

[HarveyCamm]

My plan is running ( OK maybe not actually running, more of a brisk waddle ) towards the zombies - I figure get it over with before the brains shortage hits later on in the outbreak.

Her in-doors work on t'ambulances and they've all got nice new respirator hoods, filtered air supply kit ready for fun and games. The driver can't drive with it on though so they have to shut the 'serving hatch' and turn off the air circulation - oh what larks!

Stay safe people

[garyboy]

apocalypse continued ..

Skynet becomes infected,
a vital AAA battery goes down and blows a fuse,
Russia launches its nuclear missiles
one hits Yemen and kills everyone,
no-one notices.
one hits east Africa and the people starve to death
no-one notices.
one hits Syria and kills all the children
no-one notices.

Eventually the President of the US returns from a rally
and imposes hard tariffs on China
who they blame for inventing that nest soup stuff.
The people of China are put on strict curfews and complete state domination,
no-one notices.
the US completely eradicates muslim Palestine
no-one notices.

the think tank brains of the world get together
a stray Russian missile hits them in one go.
no-one notices.
The world is left as an idiocrasy
no-one notices.

[petecam]

I have been trying to think what the.. aim ..of this outbreak of mass hysteria is ?????

by who .. for what ..

.. conspiracy theories welcome .. .. ..

Well according to the UK press and "bloke down the pub" everything is to be blamed on:

The EU
Jeremy Corbyn
Snowflake liberals
Health and Safety
Greta Thunberg

So take your pick from one or all of those

[garyboy]

Mmmmmmmmm .. that's a really difficult one



I ll go for Greta .. coz she is quite small

[garyboy]

.. and she's a rabble rousing school kid that is obviously infected with SATs


(Silly Armageddon Talks)




I blame the Teachers.. everyone else does

[wideparting]

i live near arrowe park,probably safer in Europe than here.

[Rederic]

i live near arrowe park,probably safer in Europe than here.

I realised that Jim that’s why I haven’t phoned for a while

Do you think if we brick the tunnels up that would give us a extra 36 hours

[wideparting]

i live near arrowe park,probably safer in Europe than here.

I realised that Jim that’s why I haven’t phoned for a while

Do you think if we brick the tunnels up that would give us a extra 36 hours

no chance eric,with that new gateway road the lurgie will be over your side in a flash. ps,if it remembers to pay the toll.

[Redsoul]

On a positive note there are so many panic merchants about that it looks like I will be getting the European roads to myself on my three trips this year lol