RIP John Haynes (Haynes Manuals)

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MotoCP
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RIP John Haynes (Haynes Manuals)

Post by MotoCP »

News of the passing of John Haynes this week brought back many memories of the hours I spent in my parents garage as a teenager studying the Haynes manuals B&W photos in an effort to correctly reassemble the various mechanical components that I’d removed from our family cars and motorbikes.

The guide helped me change the camshaft in my mums VW polo one Sunday afternoon, which for a novice teenager, was like open heart surgery!

I felt quite proud when she set off to work the next morning with nice quiet tappets!

It didn’t all go to plan though.....

Error #1
A mate gave me a micron exhaust so I fitted it to my Yam RS100.
It was noisy as feck so I wasn’t too popular with all the neighbours as it distorted their TV signal every time I rode past.

Silence soon resumed due to an incorrect fuel/air mixture which resulted in a holed piston.

A week later with new parts in hand and confident in my recent mechanical success on my mums car, I tore into the top end of the bike with the odd cursory glance at the ‘Owners Workshop Manual’.

After a couple of hours the new piston & rings were fitted so I gingerly kicked the bike over as my mate walked down the drive to see how I was getting on. All felt ok, so I kicked harder but it wouldn’t fire.

After a couple of roll ups and a brew, we concluded it was probably all the oil I’d smeared on the bore and the piston that was fouling the plug so we though bumping it off might be the solution.

We pushed the bike along our street to the edge of a very steep hill that was ideal for our intended purpose.

Little did I know at that stage that I was about to embark on a ride that would teach me valuable lesson in carburettor re-assembly....

On refitting the throttle slide valve back into the carb body i’d carelessly fitted it 180 deg out of position. The slide had dropped in nicely (but not down to the bottom so it was set at full throttle!) so I thought nothing more as I screwed the carb lid back on.

On the third attempt at bumping the bike it fired.....

My face turned from a look of relief to absolute terror as the engining screamed, launching me into a series of manic wheelies as I pulled the clutch in an attempt to control the uncontrollable power (no kill switch in those days) then repeatedly let it out abruptly in mechanical sympathy, attempting to lower the revs and save the engine.

This scenario played out all the way to the bottom of the hill, straight across a road until I hit a steep banking opposite.

Still grasping the handle bars on impact, I flipped arse over tit and lay winded on my back as my mechanical error dawned on me.

Tilting my head back, I watched the upside down silhouette of my mate on the horizon, staggering around like a cowboy that had just been shot before collapsing in a heap of hysterics.

Error #2 to follow......
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Teflon Jnr
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Re: RIP John Haynes (Haynes Manuals)

Post by Teflon Jnr »

Brilliant keep em coming
Jesus rides a Harley and the devil wears prada

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MotoCP
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Re: RIP John Haynes (Haynes Manuals)

Post by MotoCP »

Teflon Jnr wrote: Wed Feb 13, 2019 11:18 pm Brilliant keep em coming
I will start a separate thread so we can all confess to our ‘mechanical misadventures’
;)
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Re: RIP John Haynes (Haynes Manuals)

Post by daveuprite »

I remember flicking through the autotrader and going off to look at some cheap piece-of-shit car or bike I liked the look of. Often the seller would have a Haynes manual in the boot, and you could get an idea of what had gone wrong with the car by looking for the pages with most oil stains and dirty fingerprints on them!

While I was racing supersport, this manual rarely left my side:

Image

In fact it's in front of me now on the shelf. The pages for sorting out the famous gear selector issue are covered in filthy prints :lol:
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