However it doesn't stop me from trying - which is where the comedy comes in.
What I wanted was a beautiful big red shiny hydraulic motorcycle work bench/lift. Like this:
But I decided to make one myself....
So I dug out an old table from the barn - very heavy top - and I chopped the feet down to about the right height. I even measured first so they are roughly the same! Yes, really. I then braced the hell out of it with multiple chunks of pine I had left over from another job, using loads of left-over long screws previously holding up post-and-rail in the paddocks. I then decided I wanted it to roll on wheels - what a hoot! So I found an old supermarket shelf-stocking trolley thing that had sat in one of the old stables for years. I cut it down, leaving just the base and wheels bit, which I kind of morphed on to the bottom of the table legs, with about 2cm clear so that the wheels could roll. Then I rolled my enduro bike up on top and decided the top needed to be longer, so I quedged on an extension piece. Then I thought, "I want a fancy wheel clamp" so that I can just roll the bike into it and it'll stay upright while I put on a rear paddock stand and tie-downs. Lots more chunky bits of wood, lots of sawing and screwing, with absolutely no thought to design or measurement. I just built it around the front wheel. Trial and error, it works!
Yes, I know it looks like a badly finished viking long ship, but it'll do the job. It literally hasn't cost me a penny. It's ALL made of crap that I had lying around.
I await your unmitigated praise and admiration for such a finely engineered technical masterpiece....
