Homemade comedy

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daveuprite
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Homemade comedy

Post by daveuprite » Fri Jun 05, 2020 5:16 pm

There are a number of qualified and experienced engineers on the forum who sometimes share superb pieces of craftsmanship which I admire and know I could never even begin to replicate.

However it doesn't stop me from trying - which is where the comedy comes in.

What I wanted was a beautiful big red shiny hydraulic motorcycle work bench/lift. Like this:

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But I decided to make one myself.... :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

So I dug out an old table from the barn - very heavy top - and I chopped the feet down to about the right height. I even measured first so they are roughly the same! Yes, really. I then braced the hell out of it with multiple chunks of pine I had left over from another job, using loads of left-over long screws previously holding up post-and-rail in the paddocks. I then decided I wanted it to roll on wheels - what a hoot! So I found an old supermarket shelf-stocking trolley thing that had sat in one of the old stables for years. I cut it down, leaving just the base and wheels bit, which I kind of morphed on to the bottom of the table legs, with about 2cm clear so that the wheels could roll. Then I rolled my enduro bike up on top and decided the top needed to be longer, so I quedged on an extension piece. Then I thought, "I want a fancy wheel clamp" so that I can just roll the bike into it and it'll stay upright while I put on a rear paddock stand and tie-downs. Lots more chunky bits of wood, lots of sawing and screwing, with absolutely no thought to design or measurement. I just built it around the front wheel. Trial and error, it works!

Image

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Yes, I know it looks like a badly finished viking long ship, but it'll do the job. It literally hasn't cost me a penny. It's ALL made of crap that I had lying around.

I await your unmitigated praise and admiration for such a finely engineered technical masterpiece....

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Treadtrader
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Re: Homemade comedy

Post by Treadtrader » Fri Jun 05, 2020 5:23 pm

Great effort, I once made one, old internal door on four axle stands, I’ve still got the stands, wonder if the missus will notice the kitchen door will soon be missing........
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phil_h
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Re: Homemade comedy

Post by phil_h » Fri Jun 05, 2020 5:25 pm

I'm going to let Graham Jarvis know about this, he'd love to play with it :lol:
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MotoCP
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Re: Homemade comedy

Post by MotoCP » Fri Jun 05, 2020 5:35 pm

Resourceful.
Stick some bigger wheels on and it might go well in the Red Bull Soap Box Challenge.
:P

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zimtim
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Re: Homemade comedy

Post by zimtim » Fri Jun 05, 2020 6:56 pm

Heath Robinson
MacGyver
And now Daveuprite

:lol:
It is easier to defend yourself against a thousand enemies, than it is to defend against one backstabbing friend

PHILinFRANCE
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Re: Homemade comedy

Post by PHILinFRANCE » Fri Jun 05, 2020 7:04 pm

For fuck sake Dave that lookshit ............................but it works , well do mate , see you Sunday
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As you mentioned comedy

Image20191227_150552 by Philip Parkinson, on Flickr

Image20191227_135220 by Philip Parkinson, on Flickr

Image20191227_131809 by Philip Parkinson, on Flickr

Image20191227_131357 by Philip Parkinson, on Flickr

daveuprite
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Re: Homemade comedy

Post by daveuprite » Fri Jun 05, 2020 7:19 pm

It's so good to know that you have a ready-made gallery of 'Dave the Nob Falls Off Yet Again' pics, Phil.

Perhaps we can add to them on Sunday, eh?

Re. the bike bench/clamp. Actually for inspiration I tried to channel your wigwam. I think the shitness has transferred quite authentically from one to the other.

PHILinFRANCE
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Re: Homemade comedy

Post by PHILinFRANCE » Fri Jun 05, 2020 7:25 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

bill_qaz
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Re: Homemade comedy

Post by bill_qaz » Fri Jun 05, 2020 7:33 pm

Is Dave secretly Reg Prescott

daveuprite
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Re: Homemade comedy

Post by daveuprite » Fri Jun 05, 2020 7:40 pm

That's fuc*ing brilliant. It's me!

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

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